Saturday, April 25, 2009

Brazil Nuts!!!

So, they are still refusing to say that London was too fat to stay. Instead it's all being contributed to "her beauty wasn't translating to film", as opposed to Aminat...

At first I was extra annoyed w/ Teyona b/c she was claiming that people were starting to hate on her...paranoid! Oh, wait, Fo is - b/c she's retarded. So, I guess I'm just the usual amount of annoyed w/ Teyona now.

Welcome to Sao Paulo, Brazil! Shitty city, massive crime rate, loads of smog and human waste. Also, Fashion Capital of South America! And the location of a treasure hunt for the girls. They are charged w/ finding the favorite flower of the real "Girl from Iponiema." Everyone splits up into teams (Celia and Allison, Teyona and Amiant, Natalie and Fo) and races to the location! Turns out the flower in question is a Bird of Paradise, which is kinda cool. Once they have hold of the flower, they have to go to a location and find the actual girl the song was based on. I figured that just meant they would get to see a statue or something - but no! There she was! Dancing rythmlessly and speaking terrible English.

Let me just mention two things: EVERYONE seems to think that Teyona is competition, but I don't understand why. And Natalie is on my last fucking nerve; she spent the ENTIRE episode bitching and complaining about every god damned thing.

Fo and Natalie are the first to arrive, followed by Teyona and Aminat, and lastly Celia and Allison. The winning girls are handed the keys to their new Penthouse and everyone goes to check it out. It's pretty cool; I guess I'm conditioned to expect a house covered in odd looking decor and pictures of Tyra...

Later on the girls are introduced to Capoiera by a guy that says his name and it comes out sounding like "Eddie Murphy." According to Eddie, Capoiera can help the models create drama, which none of them need help w/ in real life. Girls are paired off to "spar." Natalie sucked ass, naturally. Celia was doing a great job w/ Aminat, and then endeared herself to me forever by "accidentally" kicking her in the head. Not very hard mind you, but I felt it. 
The best part was when Aminat said that it's OK the first time, but she's going to break some legs if it happens again. Why would Celia do it again? Who the fuck does Aminat think she's dealing w/, Chuck Norse?!?

Anyway, just remember that if you ever meet Aminat, you can kick her in the head and it's OK - but only once.

Photo Challenge: Fashionable Fighting
The winner gets 50% more frames - taken from another girl.
All the girls have to do is remember some of the moves they learned 5 minutes ago and take pictures doing just that.

  • Teyona forgot she was at a photo shoot and just lumbered around for a few minutes
  • Allison did the exact opposite and banged out a great shoot
  • Celia had some dynamic shots but managed to BLOCK HER FACE most of the time
  • Fo did fine but forgot her face
  • Natalie looked dumb - the J's were nicer and said "clumsy"
  • Aminat did whatever...when is this girl leaving?
Fo wins! Wait, what? How did that happen when the J's pointed out that she looked like a pug?!? I mean, pugs are super cute (no doubt) but hardly model-esqe. Anyway. She manages to act like a fool by taking her 50% from Teyona, claiming revenge for last week. But just to annoy me even further, she throws in that "Teyona is strong competition." 

Later on Teyona instigates some shit by confronting Fo. Teyona hardly made sense but Fo made even less when she claimed that she looked embarrassed in front of everyone last week. Uh...no one cares about you!

Photo Shoot: Carmen Miranda
The girls get to pose in a shitty neighborhood, while trying to channel Carmen Miranda. Sort of.

  • Celia seemed to be holding back a little w/ everything, especially the face
  • Allison looked so good and came off as adorable
  • Natalie just sat there, like she always does, and was worried about all the poor people around her. Not, like, their well-being, but more so them touching her
  • Aminat still looks confused and boring
  • Teyona gave some great smiles
  • Fo came across as very Carmen Miranda/drag queen. But I felt bad for her b/c Mr. J was all over the place w/ his "directing" and she just got more and more confused...
Later on we learn that while Natalie isn't worried about panel, Aminat is. Foreshadowing!

Panel
  • Aminat (looks great!): the photo is OK but her face is whatever. The judges point out that she's been giving the same "Black Girl Model Pose" since day one.
  • Natalie (looks terrible!): her photo is bland and the judges note that while the pose is pretty good, it's lacking sparkle. Also, SHE TRIED TO THROW MR. J UNDER THE BUS!!! Tyra was having none of that.
  • Celia (spunky!): eh...not amazing. I agree that it is her weakest shot, but nothing worthy of getting kicked out for.
  • Allison (adorable): GREAT FACE! Everyone notes that she looks Alive - best photo yet.
  • Fo (casual but bright): it's agreed that she does look like Carmen Miranda but it's just cute and not fashionable.
  • Teyona (ugh...): it was just OK for me, though I still loved all her smiles. The judges pointed out that the photo was an editorial version of Carmen Miranda.
Positive
Allison - has totally redeemed herself
Teyona - very model-esqe (whatever)

Negative
Fo - too much of an actor
Celia - not fresh
Aminat - a one-trick pony
Natalie - mo energy/boring

Thunderdome Battle! Deathmatch!
Aminat vs. Natalie
According to Tyra, Natalie is the prettiest girl/obvious model in the competition. Natalie loved to hear that. But she is also uninspiring. I imagine Natalie wasn't as pleased w/ that observation.
Aminat has the best body (which is probably true) but thinks she's doing more than she really is. Which is definitely true.

Going Home: Natalie - all she learned was that "you need to have thicker skin." But she did wonder why she was the one to go home when there were worse pictures than her's. I'll tell you why: YOU TRIED TO THROW MR. J UNDER THE BUS. How did she think that was going to play out?

My question was: couldn't we send them both home? Aminat absolutely drags down the competition.

Next Week: "Go Sees"! Sexy photo shoot! When are they going to get waxed?

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