Some interesting developments have popped up since the crown was placed on Teyona's poorly done weave. Paulina was fired from the show; supposedly her ego was too big. That does make sense since there's really only room for Tyra's ego. Over at FourFour.com Rich interviewed my love Celia and discovered that there was a whole lot of bullshit going on behind the scenes. He also had his cat Winston interview my love #2 Allison - check it out because it's sooooo cute!
We all know that next cycle is for the shorties, which I'm hoping will make it a lot more interesting.
Oh yeah: Thalia is pregnant. FUCKING HELL.
In a recap of the final three contestants, here is what Tyra says about them:
- Aminat:"outspoken" (aka Bitch)
- Allison: the judges love her photos week-to-week...but what dimension does she have?
- Teyona: "beautiful and gifted." Consistently delivered the best photos, Paulina? Really?
How bummed does Allison look now that Celia is gone? I feel really bad for her since all she's stuck with are the human personifications of the Siamese cats from "Lady and the Tramp." Actually it would be pretty awesome to watch them try to kill a baby.
At least Aminat is still retarded. She thinks that she is the "underdog."
CoverGirl Commercial/Photo Shoot
YEAY! McKey is here! Who gives a shit!
- Aminat - Take 1: vacant face. Take 2: vacant face but Mr. J gives up and says "good job."
- Allison - looks beautiful! Take 1: does OK but forgets some of the script. Take 2: much better.
- Teyona - looks like a drag queen but not in a good way. Take 1: too rushed. Take 2: sings some retarded song, fucks up completely and starts crying on camera - America, meet your next Top Model! Take 3: OK, considering she just had a mental breakdown.
Aminat is still under the illusion that not only did she do well, she will also win.
Teyona cries again because she couldn't perform or speak during the commercial. Maybe if she tried yelling or talking shit to the CoverGirl representative it would have helped her a little more. Just putting it out there.
Panel #1
As usual they played the whole commercial; this edit showed mostly Allison.
Then Tyra called them up one-by-one for an evaluation.
- Teyona: you could tell she was freaked out. And she cries again....Her photo was OK but the judges seemed to be more concerned with making her feel better than giving her any form of criticism, constructive or not.
- Allison: she was clearly better than Teyona but the judges could only muster an "eh." Her photo was beautiful but odd, much like Allison. Tyra liked it though.
- Aminat: meh..."easy, brevvy, beauful" but the judges ate it up. Her photo was the best one for me and they hated it. I GIVE UP!
What I found to be absolutely fascinating was that the judges seemed to only have negative things to say about all the girls. Teyona is a one-dimensional model. Allison is odd looking and may be too short (even though this is the first time her height has been mentioned). Aminat can't use her face properly.
Why did you even keep them around then?
Final 2: Allison and Teyona
Fuck along now Aminat; maybe Teyona will hire you to hold her water when she's "famous." It's fun because she cries but it stops being fun because she talks about continuing to pursue a career in modeling.
Seventeen Shoot
The girls are sent to the Seventeen Magazine photo shoot. Whoever wins will have their picture on the cover of the next issue. How fabulous, it's like being on the cover of Vogue except totally not anything as prestigious as that.
Allison looked super relaxed and like she was having fun.
Teyona, however, did not. She was so tense you could grow a diamond in her ass.
Fashion Show
First of all, what the fuck is a Brazilian Stomp?
Also, McKey is sooooo boring. I think she's on Quaaludes or something because life seems to move in slow fucking motion when she is around...
Teyona starts out great, very strong.
Allison surprises everyone with a cute little walk and a fierce face.
Eventually Teyona just starts to look mad all the time.
Allison continues on to Cutesville!
Now, if you watched you probably had the same question as I did: what was the last "scene" all about? Were the models wrestling in mud? Chocolate syrup? Shit? And why were they doing that? As a designer I'd rather not have my clothing saturated with what could be some form of feces.
Allison made the most out of her situation. She really seemed to be trying to take this as seriously as possible and ended up looking like a "live art installation." Which is still laughable since that's barely a step up from mime.
Teyona, however, seemed to just give up on the whole concept of behaving "like a model" and started humping the floor and grinding against the male models. Honey, they are scared of your vagina enough already - don't make it worse for them. Her weave fell out of course and she started swinging it around because she was having another mental breakdown. That's the only reason for what was happening. Really.
Panel #2
Allison
Lighting Shoot: good job
Color Shoot: weird photo
Ciara Shoot: sexy and passionate
Carmen Miranda Shoot: cute pin-up
Bird Shoot: Tyra liked more
Good walk during the show
Much better and more playful than Teyona
All the judges agree that Allison will get more work
And she has improved the most since the beginning of the show
Teyona
Lighting Shoot: Eh...
Color Shoot: looked beautiful
Ciara Shoot: hot and powerful
Carmen Miranda Shoot: very editorial
Bird Shoot: beautiful but not the best
Did well during show but became robotic
All the judges agree that she does not have a good personality
They also question if Teyona wants it more
Teyona has been consistent
Tyra seems to think that every one's critique is "neck and neck."
America's Next Top Model: Teyona, whatever...
They keep talking about passion and drive - I didn't see any...
So there you have it! I get to go back to my life now and forget this ever happened until next cycle starts and the madness begins again. I hope next time around is a little less frustrating because this was too much for me to take...
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