But if it did, then we wouldn't get to watch this season of America's Next Top Model (ANTM)! And that would be a travesty. Because this season is shaping up to be AWESOME. Last cycle's winner McKeay (or whatever the fuck) was a total dud, and now that we know Whitney might have been planted in cycle 10, well...we need some old school shit- now.
Thankfully, these girls are bringing it.
I'd like to start by re-capping the final 12, talking about how my opinion has changed (or not).
Allison - I called her a "sock puppet" and I still think she looks like one. But in a good way. Instead of just being plain stooopid, she's turning out to be delightfuly oddball! While not on par w/, say, Jael or Brittany (from the Naima cycle, right?) she could be seriously entertaining. I especially loved when she said that she was fascinated w/ blood and got super excited about Trya having uber nose bleeds when she was a kid.
Aminat - My original opinion doesn't hold up now that I've seen more of her; she doesn't look at thing like Ambrial. What's bothering me is that the judges were cumming so hard for her when they flung her through the selection segment and now she's sort of not doing too well. But I like her attitude and I think she has some real potential.
Celia - So I just assumed that we had a lesbian on our hands. Maybe we still do but it hasn't been brought up yet, so that gives me hope that if she is, Jesus Freak girl will be all over that shit. But other than all that, I actually LOVE LOVE LOVE Celia. She's off looking (a little Michelle, no?) but strong and older, so she's got a solid personality. My favorite so far.
Fo - I was hoping that we had someone in the running for High Bitch here. But alas I was wrong. Maybe. Either way I'm kinda on the fence about her. Also, I screwed up and thought she was from Arizona, when she's from New Mexico. What I love most is her mixed racial background; half black, half Mexican. That's still not a familiar mix and she's lovely looking proof that we need more of it floating around in the world.
Isabella - I talked a fair amount of shit about her and it didn't even matter. Turns out the only personality she had was that she suffered from epileptic seizures. Then why do you want to be in an industry that shoves flash bulbs in your face? Idiot.
Jessica - Was and is a Hot Latina. That's about it. She's pretty boring and relies on her looks too much. Even Ms. J gave her some Stank about that...
Kortnie - Hated the spelling but ended up liking the girl. She happily discussed that she used to date some NASCAR guy but didn't want to be known for that. OK, why did you bring it up? But I'm still on her side simply because she's moderately plus-sized. Oh yeah, she also IS SO FUCKING TANNED.
London - I really wanted her to be the Crazy Bitch this cycle. Sort of! Turns out this thing is a Jesus Freak and preaches on the weekends. It's sad that we might not see her lez out, take off her clothes to swim in the bathtub w/ 6 other girls, or call someone a "cunt" but I suppose I can manage...
Natalie - I thought she was bored and boring. Guess what? Nailed it. We hardly saw her in the first episode which could mean that they are just saving her for later or they completely forgot she was even there.
Nijah - Another boring girl...WTF? Why are there so many boring chicks? She's better looking than the 4 girls left behind at the last selection but, so far, a total snooze.
Sandra - Thank GAWWWWWD she's here! Sandra, save the show! Don't worry she will. I kinda thought we'd be getting a white-washed bitch and I was half right. Bitch - yes. White-washed - nope. Turns out Sandra is from Kenya and decided that the whitest fucking place in America was as good as any to land. Even from the first cat fight I knew we had something special here. The bonus is that Sandra is completely off-her-rocker BAT SHIT CRAZY.
Tahlia - Originally I just thought we had a Soccer Mom on our hands. Instead we have a walking tragedy that is so fucking annoying that it's gone a complete 180 and has made me care so little, I actually want to see her shunned, ridiculed and/or patronized by the stronger animals in the jungle. Yes, it's sad that you are a burn victim and it must be hard to get over it. But SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT. Isabella was all seizure and guess what? She went home. Where do you think you are going?
Teyona - I was waaaaay off base w/ the possible High Bitch placement but that's OK. While I'm a little whatever about her, Teyona seems to be a pretty cool, fun chick. I hardly remember anything about her photo but she has an attitude that could be beneficial to the show.
Since this has gone on long enough, I think it best that I wait on recapping the entire episode for tomorrow. I took notes (!) but they were pretty scattered since it was a 2 hour premiere and I didn't have an actual formula for what I wanted to do. So, instead of half-assing my first review I'd like to get my shit together and give you something better. Still no photos for the time being. I have to google my way through some instructions before I can get that going. Soon hopefully!
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