I always write down who is in the bottom three or so whenever I watch ANTM, just in case there is something interesting there. Turns out there kind of is!
Nijah was in the "crappy group" twice, before getting eliminated.
So, I looked over my notes and started grouping the girls together by how many times they had been in the Negative - here's what I found:
- Natalie, Allison and Teyona could all go home - they have been steadily doing worse.
- Sandra, Thalia and Aminat have been in the Negative two times - but they have all gone from Zero to Hero.
- Fo and Kortnie jumped from a steady diet of crap to Positve - we might need to keep an eye on them.
- London and Celia have been very consistant - Celia has been in the Top bracket more but London has never crashed and burned.
What does this mean? Natalie is going home? Sandra could win? I'm sad to say that I'm not sure. The judges love to flip-flop and contradict themselves and the producers just really like to fuck w/ us. It's up in the air. But I think it's a good guide to keep in mind...
As usual, we come home w/ the girls and check out the "winner's" photo. I'm actually glad that Sandra was called first; it gave her the shot of confidance that she needed to become a raging CRAZY person again. She tells us in a one-on-one that she "looks hot" in the photo. She also thinks that this means she is the best now - b/c having her picture on the wall means that she is the best.
I actually agree w/ that and I think that Allison and Teyona would agree too, since they have also been called first and have had their picture on the wall and, therefor, been the best. Go fuck yourself Sandra.
On the brighter side: the girls still hate Sandra!!!! YEAY!!!
And then Tocara shows up...
SLUMBER PARTY:
Tocara is skinny now? I guess big girls aren't all that awesome after all...But she brings gifts, so that's cool. After changing into their P.J.'s the girls sit around and listed to T2 talk about how personality counts. I think that T2 should have explained that being an asshole or a burn victem is not "personality." The girls seemed to be pretty satisfied w/ the conversation, to the point where Aminat said that she's "loud" but it's OK to be loud. Nope. It's not.
Here's something we didn't know (b/c no one gives a shit): Kortnie is a joker! She the class clown of the group. Huh. Well, even though I don't believe it (b/c I haven't seen it), it does make sense. Speaking from personal experiance: the fatties always make the jokes. It's a defence mechanisim to deflect attention from being fat. The problem is that Kortnie isn't really fat at all; if she had been much bigger at one point in her life and then lost weight, this would make sense. But for now I'm just going to say that she's an Idiot.
Sandra adds her 2cents in by saying she doesn't think this is a comedy show. Sandra must not have much of a sense of humor or, at least, has never watched the show. And it's interesting to note that she has been talking a lot more shit...during one-on-ones. Is she afraid to act like a shithead in front of the other girls?
They aren't afraid to act like that in front of her: some people thought that Fo should have "won." And they said so out-loud. I agree w/ them; Fo or Aminat. But what I am wondering is why they finally decided to "talk back"?
Challenge: Pose w/ Music
BENNY NINJA!!!!!
We are introduced to a former model-turned-DJ called Sky Nellor - she kinda looks like Tori Amos. Then Benny tells the girls they will be paired off to compete against each other; Tori/Sky will play some tunes and the girls will have to pose according to the style of music. Benny stresses that it's important the girls "pay attention to what you listen to." This ought to be fun!
Rock
Sandra had no fucking idea what she was doing. I think Benny even used the phrase "deer in headlights." Even if you have never heard rock music, you can get some idea of what's going on by...LISTENING TO THE MUSIC.
London on the other hand did very well. Question: is she still into Jesus or do you think she's moved on?
Techno
Allison was also pretty lost...
Natalie as usual kinda just stood there and looked like Whatever.
Country
Both Fo and Teyona were pretty lame. But I can't blame them since country music sucks.
WTF?
I have no idea what kind of music they had to pose to.
Celia, however, did a great job.
Kortnie, on the other hand, just fucked around for a few seconds and was scolded by Benny for not taking this seriously.
Jazz
Aminat did a great job posing. Her outfit was slammin' and she understood the music.
Thalia, of course, looked like a fucking hippo trying to do ballet.
I think we should add Allison to the list of Annoying People.
Challenge: Pose-Off!
Benny's explanation was so conveluted and insane that I had no idea what the girls were going to have to do. Which got me all excited b/c I figured they wouldn't know either and freak out. But it turns out that this was the easiest thing on the face of the earth. The girls are split into two groups; the first group goes out on stage one at a time and poses to the music; when they are done, the second group goes out and does the same thing. While each individual girl is on stage, Benny will call out "POSE!" and the girl has to pose. They will be juged by the audiance, which seemed to consist primarily of flaming drag queens not is costume. I wish I could have been there.
*Benny conveniently came up w/ the grading system of being either Good or Sour. Thanks!
Group 1
Allison - I thought she was OK/Sour
Teyona - I thought she was Good/Good
Kortnie - I have no fucking idea what she was doing up there/SOUR
Sandra - I thought she was total Crap/Sour (and she looked like a drag queen)
Celia - AWESOME/GOOD
Group 2
Aminat - I thought she did OK/Sour
London - I thought she did Ok/Sour
Thalia - I though she did OK/SOUR (the audiance HATED her and I though she was gonna cry!)
Natalie - I thought she was Whatever/Good (I really do hate this girl)
Fo - I though she did OK/Good
It came down to Natalie (WTF?) and Celia. Though not the quintesential Death Match, it was pretty awesome to see Celia out pose Natalie to death. The audiance agreed and Celia FINALLY WON SOMETHING.
Back at the house and guess what: Thalia wants to go home again! Big surprise...this time she tells Allison, who turns around and tells Celia. It's the same story w/ Thalia: she gets a little crticizim and she starts crying and wishes she could go home, then she does a good job at her photo shoot and she's all about kicking ass and taking names. It's getting boring and, like Celia said, there are girls here that want this more than her and are not thrown by a few bitchy comments. Celia is practical about it and voices her opinion to the other girls that Thalia should leave the competition and let the girls who want this more, have a better chance.
That right there was a mistake: talking to the OTHER girls. Celia should have had everyone sit down for a meeting and told Thalia to her face. This way, Thalia can at least a.) explain herself b.) break down and cry and get even more freaked out about the competition and get eliminated b/c of it or c.) actually make the decision to leave. That would have been a lot cleaner.
Photo Shoot: Ellis Island
Today's theme is Immigrants Coming Through Ellis Island. Kinda cool. They will be shot w/ and old fashioned still camera and be paired w/ Benny Ninja as their "husband" and a bunch of randon kids.
- Sandra - was very stiff/boring and turned out to be the biggest dissapointment of the day.
- Fo - I thought looked lovely.
- London - totally got into character, thinking she was Kate Winslet from "Titanic."
- Natalie - had some good poses but, again, her face seemed to fall flat for me.
- Teyona - was just OK, for me but Mr. J seemed to like her.
- Kortnie - dead eyes! And she seemed to struggle w/ everything around her.
- Thalia - looked like a gypsy! She also did very well and Mr. J noted that she seems to be growing in the competition.
- Celia - I thought she did very well and kept it strong but Mr. J just gave her a "good."
- Aminat - seemed to bring it to set but Mr. J pointed out that she works her body really well and then forgets her face - which is true.
- Allison - seemed to to well and got a soild review from Mr. J.
Sandra says she is nervous about Pannel w/c she knows she didn't have a good shoot. But then goes on to say that she won't be going home. Make up your fucking mind.
Guess what? Thalia wants to stay in the competition now. FUCK. She is annoying. And this would have been the perfect time to call her on it; she's still high from a great shoot, so she will be coherant but the massive amounts of negativity would shake her up pretty badly. Oh well...
Pannel
Sandra REEEEAAAALLLLY loves those fucking red shoes. And Benny is the guest judge.
- Teyona - the photo turned out very nicely and the judges complimented her on how authentic she looked.
- London - this photo was only OK. The big problem is that she was looking away from the camera while all the extras were staring straight ahead; also, her pose was odd.
- Sandra - just as she suspected (and we all knew) this photo was not good. She was stiff and looked away from the camera. Nigel noted that she's been giving them profiles lately and this is true.
- Allison - the photo was pretty good and someone even through out the word "editorial."
- Aminat - she finally found a synergy of good face and good pose and was complimented for it.
- Fo - this photo was only OK and she was also looking away from the camera.
- Natalie - I was pretty Whatever about this photo and it seemed the judges felt the same.
- Kortnie - BARF. She had the ultimate zombie face - and I HATE zombies.
- Thalia - it was a good photo and the judges LOVED it. But I think that Thalia has become an Asshole in all this - her reaction to the judges praise was ZERO and when they told her to bring more personality to the pannel, she just stood there.
- Celia - unfortunatly, this was not a good photo. The pose was so/so and she seemed to be dialing it in. Sorry, Celia!
Negative
Sandra - they said the "P Word"...Pretty
Kortnie
Fo
Celia
Natalie
Positive
London
Allison
Aminat
Thalia
Teyona
Deathmatch! Thunderdome Battle!
Kortnie vs. Sandra
At this point it's nice to see that the judges have split the Negative/Positive groups down the middle. It sucks when one group is lop-sided. Here is where I get to put my theory to practice; Sandra just got the Kiss of Death w/ the word Pretty. But Kortnie made a crazy jump from the Negtive to the Positive in one leap, w/out having proven that she could actually model. This is a good Bottom 2.
Going Home: Kortnie (after all, she doesn't bring anything to the show)
HOLY SHIT
Celia decides that it's her job to voice the opinion of the group and tell Tyra that Thalia is a whiny bitch. In a way that's kinda awesome - she's ballsy enough to talk shit about a girl right in front of Tyra right after said girl was called first at pannel. But it was a stupid decision. As much as I like Celia, I have to agree w/ Tyra that it was unfair of Celia to bring it up. Now Tyra's logic is that since Thalia didn't say it, it's unfair - but that's stupid b/c Thalia isn't about to ruin her chance at winning (when she wants to win). Poor Celia has to skulk off the stage and stand there like a jackass while Kortnie got a pep-talk from Tyra.
NEXT WEEK: FIGHTING!
Celia thinks she will be sent home for her actions
Thalia claims she's been humliated by all this
Aminat and Natalie argue
Everyone starts yelling at each other
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