ANTM #11 - Dance Like There's Ass In Your Pants

I apologize for how late this is but last weekend was super hectic. Hopefully I have a few moments in the next few days to tell you what's going on, but now: on to the show!

First of all I need to address the fact that Teyona looks awkward and ridiculous in a dress. That must be why she never wears them. But then, she looks silly in jeans and t-shirts (Mall Uniform), so maybe the girl is just screwed.

I'm kinda bummed that Celia was sort of passive-aggressive about Teyona being the clear front-runner. My hope was that last week's ass-kicking would full some "bitch fire" and lead to a little smack-talking. But Celia is more mature and better suited to quiet hatred.

Now, the fact that Aminat thinks Celia is a "bit much" is laughable since Aminat is "too fucking much." I want to punch her in the face.

It's a little lame that the four girls have split off into racially divided pairs. I'm not under the delusional impression that ANTM should aspire to be a color blind podium but it gets old when the mousy white girls crawl together and the, stereotypically, bitchy/trashy/ghetto black girls lord over the roost. Why is it that this seems to happen every cycle?

And I kind of hate looking at Aminat's face.

Time to learn the Samba!!!

We are given a sparse tutorial on a lovely Brazilian dance in favor of an explanation as to why the girls are doing this. You mean there's a reason other than embarrassing them? According to Paulina (who I am disliking more and more as the cycle draws to a close), dancing and modeling are similar because you must learn how to move your body and make it look easy. Basically: Fake it till you make it. Some of these ladies ("ladies") shouldn't have a problem w/ that.

Paulina reminds them to keep their faces looking good and to not look down while they are dancing, which is good advice. The only time she will have offered something like that all cycle.

• Celia does OK but kinda looks "hard", as if she were concentrating too hard. Paulina says she looks desperate which is fucking harsh and a super bitchy thing to say.
• Aminat is whatever for me, as usual. Paulina, however, wants to lick her vagina.
• Allison knew she was screwed going into this and must have decided to just fuck it and go with whatever popped into her head. Lucky us!!!
• Teyona did shit and simply refused to look up. I fucking hate her.

Challenge: Samba

The girls changed into some lovely dresses and meet Paulina on a roof top. What's with all the roof tops this cycle?

Paulina will be judging the girls' performance and has declared that anytime someone looks down she is going to subtract "a million points." What is she, five years old? A MILLION-BILLION-GAZILLION POINTS! What's even worse is that she singles out Allison after saying this even though it was Teyona who refused to peel her eyes from the floor. Oh well, I guess the show is color blind when it comes to stupidity.

• Allison was a total goof-ball but we already knew that. She did not perform well, but we already knew that.
• Celia is much better this time around. She seems lighter and less tense.
• Aminat did whatever, again. Some how her bare minimum seems to register as top quality performance with the modeling set, while us "proles" see utter shit. This must be like when a dog can hear some freaky high-pitched noise that the rest of us can't and then totally flips it's shit while we just look at it and wonder: what the hell?
• Teyona is fucking retarded and kept looking down. She will probably win this challenge.

Winner: Celia!!!!!! It's about fucking time people!The most satisfying part of this is that I started to write Aminat and was genuinely surprised when Paulina called Celia.

Then it all got flushed down the toilet when Celia, obviously, picked Allison to share her prize and Paulina openly disapproved. For some reason Paulina wanted Celia to pick Aminat because she was her (Paulina's) second choice. Well, bitch, if you wanted Aminat to win so badly why did you pick her? Fuck that. Aminat would have chosen Teyona, so it doesn't matter.

The girls astutely guess that the photo shoot will have something to do with birds and Aminat says "push me out!" in reference to momma birds nudging baby birds from the nest. If only Aminat, if only...

On a side note: I do appreciate that no one has started the arguing again. I was kinda sick of it anyway.

Photo Shoot: Bird Brained

• Allison (according to Tyra, is supposed to channel an owl/pterodactyl protecting it's baby birds. Tyra does crack. Also, she doesn't tell any of the other girls stupid shit like that after realizing that it is stupid shit) - thankfully, even though Allison looked utterly insane she cranked out some amazing shots.
• Aminat - looked good and had some great poses but could not change her fucking face. And it was a cop-out that her poses were decent, since the constraints of where the shoot was being done MADE her try something new.
• Celia - had a lot of good poses and seemed much more relaxed. Now I am totally tense: is she going home because she has a great day? Is this a "here's your bone" moment?!?!
• Teyona - was boring all over the place, even though Tyra couldn't get enough of her (but, as we established above she does crack). But with all the feathers and the tree trunk/pole the bitch just ended up looking like a damned stripper.

Panel

• Allison - LOVED IT! Her photo was lovely; she managed to keep her face from looking retarded and even achieved some level of sensuality. The judges liked it too.
• Teyona - it was just OK for me. Her body looked odd but her face was pretty nice. Here's the kicker: Tyra didn't like it all that much!!!
• Celia - LOVED IT PART DUEX! She looked fierce and confidant. Also: Tyra loved shooting her - so fuck you Teyona/Aminat.
• Aminat - not bad really. Her body language was nice but her face fucking fell flat - again.

Positive

Allison

Aminat (has drive but doesn't give good face)

Negative

Teyona (too complacent)

Celia (doesn't use her face - BULLSHIT excuse to throw her off the bus)

Thunderdome Battle! Deathmatch!

Celia vs. Aminat

Ceila - has strength in body but not the face. She may be mature but she's also strong and edgy, so why is she in the Bottom Two for what sounds like Aminat's problem?

Aminat - also has strength in her body but not her face - mostly because it doesn't catch the light right. Well, that doesn't sound like something you can just smile w/ your eyes at...

Going Home: Celia. Go fuck yourself ANTM.

Tyra goes on about how she really enjoyed working with Celia but thinks that her position in the world of fashion will be as a stylist or designer. This may be an American Idol situation in which the promising contestant is voted off early because they are not the fan favorite but then go on to a great career. Either way, Celia said she had a lot of fun and was excited to have been a part of the show and will for sure pursue a career in fashion.

NEXT WEEK - The Final 3!!!

ANTM #10 - Brazilian Wax

After the girls come home from last weeks panel we get to heat Teyona's opinion about Natalie leaving, even though no one asked her for it. She couldn't care less that Nat is gone, since all she did was complain. Well, I won't care much either when you're gone b/c all you do is Stank. But Celia pointed out that no one appreciated Natalie's talent. It's true - no one did, mostly b/c she didn't have any.

Fo is proud of herself for making it this far in the competition b/c everything she does is so half-assed. I think we have a winner for Best Foreshadowing of the Season (oops! Cycle).

Challenge: Go Sees!

Ah, "Go Sees"...a beloved tradition in the ANTM universe. There's always one that you figure will fail miserably and this time around it's Allison. Why? BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE'S NERVOUS. Who knew?

Requirements: the 5 designers the girls are supposed to see are looking for...

Style

Personality

Soul - which is funny b/c Teyona and Aminat have no souls

And the girls all have to be back by 3:30pm. Of course, there's TONS of traffic and the girls start freaking out. 

Celia is trying out Logic for this challenge: start at the last designer and work your way back. Not a bad idea! Teyona might have the same idea b/c she arrives right after Celia; frustrated, she moves on to the next designer instead of wasting time by waiting. Meanwhile, Celia does very well but the designer is "bothered" by her age. Well, bitch, I'm bothered by your face!

Allison does poorly b/c...SHE'S NERVOUS.

Celia, using more Logic decides to walk to most of the designers to save time - this also seems like a good idea.

Fo is doing well but moves a little too slowly for the designers she sees.

Teyona is still running around like a chicken w/ it's fucking head cut off and keeps showing up right after a girl has arrived. She continues the mad, mad cycle for eternity...NO, WAIT! She finally makes it to a designer that is free and does well.

Aminat impresses the designers w/ her walk (basically the only thing she's got going for her). But everyone agrees that they would rather book her for runway instead of print.

In a one-on-one Aminat mention that she wants Celia to go home b/c she "looks old." Interestingly, I want Aminat to go home b/c she fucking sucks and can't model worth shit.

Teyona gives up on trying to finish the challenge and is rewarded for her stupidity and laziness by arriving 20 minutes early to the final destination.

Aminat is second w/ 10 minutes to spare.

Allison brings up the rear w/ only 3 minutes left!

Poor Celia...1 GOD DAMNED MINUTE LATE.

Fo, on the other hand is incredibly late and Teyona shoves it in her face so hard the girl's nose breaks - what a cunt! Eh, I don't really care for Fo either...

The girls that arrived on time are given a helicopter ride to another location to find out who wins the challenge. Celia and Fo are nearly blown off the roof while watching the others lift off. As added salt in their wounds, they are made to take a taxi back to the penthouse. That sucks. You know what would have been worse though? If they had been made to walk through the crime ridden streets of Sao Paulo to some shitty cardboard shack and made to live there for the rest of their lives. Something like that.

Once the three arrive at the location they are told how well they did:

Allison saw four designers but came across as too insecure and was told to work on her walk.

Aminat, obviously, had a great walk and was well liked by the designers.

Teyona was told that the designers really liked her and thought she had a beautiful face (you should see her personality!)

Winner: Teyona (this annoyed me on a basic level); she gets a bunch of clothes, which is great for her since the girl couldn't put on a good outfit if there was a fucking gun pressed to her temple.

Fo begins to cry during her one-on-one, making her even less attractive than she was before (to me, at least).

Photo Shoot: Brazilian Beach Bingo!

Nigel will be shooting the girls today! This time around it's another group shot, but instead of fighting for the spotlight the ladies ("ladies") will be in a beach scene w/ regular looking people. I thought they were going to have some gorgeous Brazilian models running around in Speedos and bikinis, making it harder for us to pay attention to our beloved simpletons. But, as it turns out, it's actually just regular ass people. Totally easy to spot any of the girls.

• Aminat - THE SAME FUCKING POSE AS EVERY WEEK. Christ! And it was all so awkward and strange that I was uncomfortable sitting on the couch. Neither Nigel or Mr. J were impressed.
• Fo - was totally nervous and all up in her head. Nobody was impressed.
• Allison - was the tasty surprise of the episode! She did a great job and totally committed to every shot. Nigel and Mr. J loved her to death!
• Teyona - started out in her head and took a moment to get in the rhythm, but once there she did well. Both of the guys ("guys") like her.
• Celia - I'm sorry to say suck balls. She lost it somewhere and had real trouble connecting to her surroundings. It got so bad that Nigel had to step in and show her just what he wanted. Nobody was pleased w/ this.

Later on, back at the penthouse, Aminat and Teyona act like assholes and eavesdrop on the other three talking. All are in agreement that Aminat will be going on, though Aminat doesn't seem to agree w/ them.

Panel

Holy shit! Did you see Tyra's hair?!?

• Teyona: good photo/uses her body well/I thought it was OK.
• Celia: OK photo/ "not the easiest girl to shoot that day"/admits that she practiced "for hours", which it turns out ruined her.
• Aminat: OK photo/clearly not using her body/to me it looked like she was kinda hiding it.
• Fo: TERRIBLE photo/hunched over and crappy, she looked like Gollum
• Allison: an odd photo (that Tyra chose, I might add - bitch) but AMAZING face!

Turns out that Allison only booked 1 out of 4 Go Sees, which is pretty bad. Even worse? Fo booking NONE of the 5 she made it to!

However, I was disappointed that we didn't find out how many Aminat, Teyona or Ceclia booked. In a perfect world Celia would have booked all of the designers and the other two would have only booked one or two. But that's probably not what happened. In fact, I think it's more likely that Celia and Flotsam and Jetsam booked about the same amount.

Negative

Aminat - didn't come across as natural and has no "good" tension when she poses

Celia - just rehearsed to damn much

Fo - was nothing close to natural and was basically a disaster

Positive

Teyona - looked good in the photo and the dress she won and wore to panel

Allison - did a great job, but I guess not good enough for more encouragement than that

Thunderdome Battle! Deathmatch!

Celia vs. Fo

Basically it comes down to this:

Celia has consistently delivered good, sometimes great photos, but just psyched herself out that day. She was disqualified on a challenge that she might have won and tried a little too hard to over compensate.

Fo, on the other hand, has been spotty throughout the competition and crawls so far up into her head she gets lost. Plus, she fucking short for a model (5'8"). Even though Celia is ANCIENT (25), she's still more focused and talented.

Going Home: Fo. Of course she cries and cries and cries. But she also promises to keep modeling and to get her high school diploma, which I think is wonderful.

What else do I think is wonderful? That Tyra told Celia "don't give them the 'she's 25' excuse." This makes me think that Tyra is pulling for Celia and has some investment in her winning the competition. It makes sense though; the biggest part of this show this that a charity case wins. Sometimes that girl is fat, Hispanic or just boring. Maybe this time she will be old as fuck.

Next Week: Samba lessons! Tyra photo shoot!

Brazil Nuts!!!

So, they are still refusing to say that London was too fat to stay. Instead it's all being contributed to "her beauty wasn't translating to film", as opposed to Aminat...

At first I was extra annoyed w/ Teyona b/c she was claiming that people were starting to hate on her...paranoid! Oh, wait, Fo is - b/c she's retarded. So, I guess I'm just the usual amount of annoyed w/ Teyona now.

Welcome to Sao Paulo, Brazil! Shitty city, massive crime rate, loads of smog and human waste. Also, Fashion Capital of South America! And the location of a treasure hunt for the girls. They are charged w/ finding the favorite flower of the real "Girl from Iponiema." Everyone splits up into teams (Celia and Allison, Teyona and Amiant, Natalie and Fo) and races to the location! Turns out the flower in question is a Bird of Paradise, which is kinda cool. Once they have hold of the flower, they have to go to a location and find the actual girl the song was based on. I figured that just meant they would get to see a statue or something - but no! There she was! Dancing rythmlessly and speaking terrible English.

Let me just mention two things: EVERYONE seems to think that Teyona is competition, but I don't understand why. And Natalie is on my last fucking nerve; she spent the ENTIRE episode bitching and complaining about every god damned thing.

Fo and Natalie are the first to arrive, followed by Teyona and Aminat, and lastly Celia and Allison. The winning girls are handed the keys to their new Penthouse and everyone goes to check it out. It's pretty cool; I guess I'm conditioned to expect a house covered in odd looking decor and pictures of Tyra...

Later on the girls are introduced to Capoiera by a guy that says his name and it comes out sounding like "Eddie Murphy." According to Eddie, Capoiera can help the models create drama, which none of them need help w/ in real life. Girls are paired off to "spar." Natalie sucked ass, naturally. Celia was doing a great job w/ Aminat, and then endeared herself to me forever by "accidentally" kicking her in the head. Not very hard mind you, but I felt it. 

The best part was when Aminat said that it's OK the first time, but she's going to break some legs if it happens again. Why would Celia do it again? Who the fuck does Aminat think she's dealing w/, Chuck Norse?!?

Anyway, just remember that if you ever meet Aminat, you can kick her in the head and it's OK - but only once.

Photo Challenge: Fashionable Fighting

The winner gets 50% more frames - taken from another girl.

All the girls have to do is remember some of the moves they learned 5 minutes ago and take pictures doing just that.

• Teyona forgot she was at a photo shoot and just lumbered around for a few minutes
• Allison did the exact opposite and banged out a great shoot
• Celia had some dynamic shots but managed to BLOCK HER FACE most of the time
• Fo did fine but forgot her face
• Natalie looked dumb - the J's were nicer and said "clumsy"
• Aminat did whatever...when is this girl leaving?

Fo wins! Wait, what? How did that happen when the J's pointed out that she looked like a pug?!? I mean, pugs are super cute (no doubt) but hardly model-esqe. Anyway. She manages to act like a fool by taking her 50% from Teyona, claiming revenge for last week. But just to annoy me even further, she throws in that "Teyona is strong competition." 

Later on Teyona instigates some shit by confronting Fo. Teyona hardly made sense but Fo made even less when she claimed that she looked embarrassed in front of everyone last week. Uh...no one cares about you!

Photo Shoot: Carmen Miranda

The girls get to pose in a shitty neighborhood, while trying to channel Carmen Miranda. Sort of.

• Celia seemed to be holding back a little w/ everything, especially the face
• Allison looked so good and came off as adorable
• Natalie just sat there, like she always does, and was worried about all the poor people around her. Not, like, their well-being, but more so them touching her
• Aminat still looks confused and boring
• Teyona gave some great smiles
• Fo came across as very Carmen Miranda/drag queen. But I felt bad for her b/c Mr. J was all over the place w/ his "directing" and she just got more and more confused...

Later on we learn that while Natalie isn't worried about panel, Aminat is. Foreshadowing!

Panel

• Aminat (looks great!): the photo is OK but her face is whatever. The judges point out that she's been giving the same "Black Girl Model Pose" since day one.
• Natalie (looks terrible!): her photo is bland and the judges note that while the pose is pretty good, it's lacking sparkle. Also, SHE TRIED TO THROW MR. J UNDER THE BUS!!! Tyra was having none of that.
• Celia (spunky!): eh...not amazing. I agree that it is her weakest shot, but nothing worthy of getting kicked out for.
• Allison (adorable): GREAT FACE! Everyone notes that she looks Alive - best photo yet.
• Fo (casual but bright): it's agreed that she does look like Carmen Miranda but it's just cute and not fashionable.
• Teyona (ugh...): it was just OK for me, though I still loved all her smiles. The judges pointed out that the photo was an editorial version of Carmen Miranda.

Positive

Allison - has totally redeemed herself

Teyona - very model-esqe (whatever)

Negative

Fo - too much of an actor

Celia - not fresh

Aminat - a one-trick pony

Natalie - mo energy/boring

Thunderdome Battle! Deathmatch!

Aminat vs. Natalie

According to Tyra, Natalie is the prettiest girl/obvious model in the competition. Natalie loved to hear that. But she is also uninspiring. I imagine Natalie wasn't as pleased w/ that observation.

Aminat has the best body (which is probably true) but thinks she's doing more than she really is. Which is definitely true.

Going Home: Natalie - all she learned was that "you need to have thicker skin." But she did wonder why she was the one to go home when there were worse pictures than her's. I'll tell you why: YOU TRIED TO THROW MR. J UNDER THE BUS. How did she think that was going to play out?

My question was: couldn't we send them both home? Aminat absolutely drags down the competition.

Next Week: "Go Sees"! Sexy photo shoot! When are they going to get waxed?

ANTM #8 - Big Girls Don't Cry

During the recap we were treated to another clip of Thalia being sent home. I will NEVER get tired of that. Question: why do they do the Cover Girl commercial when there are still a fair amount of girls left in the competition? Most of them can't speak to save their lives, but w/ the stronger competitors at least there's a better chance on only one person failing miserably - instead of almost everyone.

I was kinda pissed that Celia and her picture (displayed as "digital art") didn't get much screen time, but it was delightful to see Celia tell Allison to "work harder" at gaining more versatility. I think that Celia is totally sick of having Allison hang onto her all the god damned time.

Across the house, Aminat and Teyona were commenting on how crappy the Cover Girl commercial experience was. That is correct, b/c it was crappy for everyone ladies.

Finally!!! Celia brings up London's street preaching and how she goes about doing it. I kinda don't think Celia really cared, maybe she was just bored. But I give London the credit she deserves for not being an asshole like Robin was in the first cycle. And it was nice to hear that London actually was still into God and Jesus - like I said before: "Maybe they broke up."

Later on, the girls get whisked away to their challenge. They are greeted by Mr. J, who explains what a "Creative Director" does. Hey, thanks for that! As if the words "creative" and "director" weren't already self-explanatory. But he needs to justify his presence, b/c he loves to hear himself talk - and I kinda do too, sometimes.

Seventeen Magazine editor Anne Shoket popped up to help out, explaining that the girls would be modeling South Pole, Jr. clothing, w/ "street-style w/ edge." 

Challenge: Creative Director for a day

Every girl gets to be the creative director for another girl's shoot. They will chose the clothing, design the hair and make-up, and direct the model w/ the help of the photographer. This should be fun.

• Natalie --> Teyona (Natalie thought she was "visionary", while I thought she was "aight." And you better believe that Mr. J wasn't buying it.)
• Allison --> Aminat (The surprise here is that Allison was more assertive and interesting than she's ever been in the competition. Mr. J noticed this too, also complimenting her on Aminat's look.)
• Fo --> London (There was some bitchy-ness about London having gained weight, making it hard to find the right clothes for her. I was not amused. Mr. J thought the whole thing looked like a Holiday Gap add.)
• Aminat --> Natalie (This was, by far, the most entertaining segment. All the girls get 1 hour to prep their model. Aminat wasted ALL OF HER TIME. When Mr. J points this out, instead of owning it and apologizing, she cops an attitude! And then she throws the hair/make-up people under the bus by claiming they were taking too long. Mr. J was having none of that, pointing out that when they have shoots the girls are sent to hair/make-up first while the clothing is being chosen for them. Aminat just had Natalie chillin' in a chair while she wandered around looking at clothes. She is clearly an Asshole.)
• Teyona --> Celia (It was interesting to see Teyona in action; she had a clear idea, executed it well and behaved like a normal person. Mr. J loved the shoot and was happy to hear that Teyona did all the styling herself.)
• London --> Allison (Poor girls! London was worried about getting Allison to look "Street" and I'm sure Allison was freaking out as well. She ended up putting an outfit together that looked EXACTLY like something she had worn before make-overs. Even going so far as to slap a headband on Allison. Mr. J was not impressed.)
• Celia --> Fo (This is Celia's strength: styling. She did a great job. While the shoot looked great, Mr. J pointed out that Celia chose a photo where Fo's feet were cut out of the picture. While that's the photographer's fault for shooting it, I'm sure there was something better she could have chosen.)

Winner: Teyona! She will get to do a photo spread in 17 Magazine and is allowed to pick two girls to go w/ her. She choses Celia and Aminat.

I love that Fo gets pissy over this. Teyona said very clearly that she chose Celia b/c she couldn't have won it w/out her. But that sort of logic doesn't fly w/ Fo I guess.

Mr. J sneeks into the house at 5:30am to wake up the girls. Fuck that. If I saw his frosted tips in my face at 5:30 in the god damned morning I would have instinctively punched him. But at least he brought hair and make-up w/ him so the girls could get ready.

The surprise for the day comes when R&B sensation Ciara shows up at the house. I don't know anything about this girl but she is very attractive and seems pretty nice. I loved her even more when Aminat attacked her w/ a hug and her body language clearly said: "Get the FUCK away from me!"

Photo Shoot: Stalking Ciara

• Celia: looking pretty fierce!
• London: prayed for help but didn't seem to get any. (Mr. J pulls her aside to talk about her weight gain and tells her he's concerned about her health.)
• Teyona: rockin' it!
• Natalie (of the crazy hair!): still dead in the face but when she was instructed to start snarling, she began to do better.
• Fo: looked great and gave a lot of variety in the face.
• Allison: came across as kinda awkward but when Mr. J chastised her for it, her anger got her into a really good groove!
• Aminat: FUCKING RETARDED. There was a moment that she actually turned her back to the camera and a photo was snapped. I feel like Mr. J was done w/ her.

Later on the clearly worst of the bunch talked about their photo shoots. Aminat asked Fo about her shoot and Fo straight up told her that she did a great job; Aminat was forced to admit that her's was not so awesome. On the other side of the house: Natalie asks about London's shoot and she said it was bad and Mr. J called her fat. Then London questions why God put her there. The answer is easy: God didn't do any of this, you did. You auditioned for the competition and ate too much breakfast cereal.

Panel

Before we even get to the carnage, a young man in a Speedo walks in carrying a box full of nuts up to Tyra. He's speaking Portuguese and, supposedly, Tyra can understand him pretty well. Turns out (duh) he's from Brazil! And that's where the girls are goin! Except the one that gets eliminated tonight!

• Natalie - Great face and even over-shadows Ciara (judges liked)
• Aminat - Looks absolutely clueless (judges did not like)
• Celia - Fierce and exclaims "I like it!" (judges state that it's "not classic" but loved it)
• Teyona - Good face but odd pose (judges liked)
• London - Weird looking - still channeling Norma Desmond (judges did not like)
• Fo - (looked adorable at panel!) Gave a great picture (judges liked)
• Allison - Fierce! For once! Though the body was only so/so (judged loved it)

Allison happened to complement the photographer by saying that he was her favorite to work w/. Then Nigel proved that he's a bigger bitch than we had originally thought by complaining. Tyra made it worse b/c she had to out-bitch Nigel. And then we all felt sorry for Allison.

Positive

Teyona - consistent

Fo - loved her

Natalie - still sucks in person

Celia - worried she more stylist than model

Negative

Allison - could do better

Aminat - might be better for runway

London - could do better, needs to lose weight

Thunderdome Battle! Deathmatch!

London vs. Aminat

According to Tyra, Aminat is gorgeous and perfect but doesn't translate that to the camera and may be better suited for runway. London is also amazing to look at, even having eyes that naturally smile, but just isn't good in pictures. Here Tyra chooses to use the word "celluloid" instead of just "film." It's funny how celluloid is similar in sound to "cellulite." It's also funny that London's photos have actually been strong the entire time and she's never had much trouble getting that on film, while Aminat is a fucking mess. 

Going Home: London

I saw that coming. It's only a little sad. I don't care much about London, so I wasn't emotionally involved in her "journey" but it was clear that Aminat is clueless and might go home next week. She's also a pretty big asshole; she cheered for herself when she was called to stay on the show - right in front of London.

But London is OK w/ everything and she's not even mad at God for being eliminated! I love how passive-aggressive Christian people are. London doesn't want to take responsibility for anything she does, she assumes that God is in charge of her every waking moment. HE is the one that put her on this show, HE is the one that made her get chubby, HE is the one that eliminated her. But it's cool, she's not angry w/ him...

NEXT WEEK: Capoera! And maybe Fo does bad?!?!

ANTM #7 - Sweet Release...

I love that in the recap of last week's episode they are STILL talking about Celia/Thalia...maybe one of them will kill the other tonight?!?

All the girls seem to be kind of "buddy-buddy" tonight; they sit around talking about how they actually want to do a Cover Girl commercial (foreshadowing!) and then have a lovely dinner. It's pretty clear there are still "sides" though; Celia, Natalie and Allison seem to keep together more than mingling w/ the other girls. 

But it's also pretty clear that Natalie is still an Asshole. After dinner Teyona and Aminat ask that everyone clear away their own plates (a reasonable request) but Natalie thinks it's better that she just sit on her ass and let everyone do the washing up. Aminat's logical reaction is to call her a "bitch", which isn't necessarily true - however, "arrogant" is and she does call her that.

Instead of taking that as a sign that maybe she is kinda worthless in every way, Natalie complains to Fo, who pretty much seems like she doesn't care. The BEST part though is when Natalie explains why she didn't get off her ass and help: she's from a "better/wealthier" community and isn't used to cleaning up. 

Oh. OK. That's cool then.

Exercise: Acting w/ a partner

The premise is basic - the girls are given a line by Paulina and are instructed to say the line w/ a certain emotion. Surprise, surprise when half of them couldn't even manage that...

Celia/Aminat: "I've never said that to anyone"

A: bossy C: pitifully (Celia was better/Aminat came across as threatening)

Teyona/Natalie: "I've never said that to anyone"

T: shockingly N: threatening (Teyona was hardly shocking/Natalie was pretty good)

London/Fo: "You've got to be kidding me"

L: pitifully F: threateningly (both girls were pretty good!/Fo be crazy!)

Allison/Thalia: "You need to get out of here"

A: arrogant Th: ecstatically (Thalia is just nasty, can I say that enough?/Allison...whatever)

Let me just interject here:

It's kind of annoying that the producers keep paring Celia and Aminat up, hoping for something to happen. As ghetto as Aminat can get, she not dumb enough to start shit in front of a judge.

Same goes for throwing Teyona and Natalie together. And notice that there's a lot of black/white pairing going on too?

I think (officially) London and Fo might make it to the Top 4. Both have been flying pretty low under the radar and have been either consistent (London) or getting much better (Fo). 

Paulina called Allison and Thalia the "mild mannered" girls. This must be code for "neither of these girls is going to win, let alone break the Top 4." So that's kinda sad. Also, Thalia is an Asshole too.

After the exercise, the girls are charged w/ learning a script about a "has-been model" that is running late for a fitting. Paulina announces that they are going to be acting with......CLAY AIKEN!!!! Who gives a shit? And I give even less of a shit that Clay and Tyra are supposedly "close personal friends." The only way I could marginally care is if they hung out and did karoke to "Ebony and Ivory."

Challenge: Acting w/ Clay!

• London did a great job and has some natural talent on stage.
  
• Aminat was better than I thought she was going to be.
  
• Natalie is basically Stanky at everything she does.
  
• Teyona, once again, managed to make an impression that could only be measured w/ a (-).
  
• Allison was also pretty "eh."
  
• Fo came across as a major Drag Queen, which was super fun to watch.
  
• Thalia can't even act like a human being, let alone a "has been model."
  
• Celai also did the Drag Queen but was hilarious and perfectly over-the-top.
  

Winner: London! Good for her, she's been kind of in the middle lately. She won $5,000 in jeans and some other clothes from some fashion place that I've never heard of.

It was a shot-lived victory when she got home though: turns out London has been struggling w/ her weight lately (she's already pear-shaped) and seeing all the better proportioned girls sliding into HER jeans couldn't have helped.

Photo Shoot: Cover Girl commercial

So, their wish came true! HA! Oh, and they get to hang out w/ MyKey (how the fuck do you spell that?), the only Top Model to have no personality whatsoever. Hmmm...maybe Teyona has a chance.

This commercial is a little different, following in this cycles favorite "let's fuck w/ them" theme of groups. There are two groups that will be filmed. Each girl will get a chance to say all the lines, while the other girls get to try to out-shine her in the background.

Group One:

Celia was OK, she tends to come off a little "odd" in front of the camera.

Teyona set the standard for Retarded by staring at the Teleprompter through her entire performance.

Aminat managed to bring the Stank and look mad AND dead at the same time. Impressive.

Allison rushed through everything and didn't look at the camera either.

Group Two:

Natalie messed up right off the bat and just went on being "whatever."

Fo wasn't that good either.

London was OK but came off a little crazy - I think "door-to-door salesman" was said.

Thalia also messed up, who would have thought? FUCK, I seriously hate her. She had to be by far the worst and even Mr. J said she lacked "spirit/energy."

I really enjoyed how Thalia seemed to be stuck w/ the line "I like full coverage!" And I'm impressed that she didn't bitch about it. But then she started talking about how she still needs more confidence...sigh.

Panel:

I thought it was pretty odd that Clay Aiken was on panel. Sure, he read a few scenes w/ the girls but those were for the stage and were open to interpretation. Cover Girl commercials are super scripted and you are expected to perform in a very specific way...

• Celia: I liked her and thought she was pretty natural, editing in wonderful (though her hair looked super crazy)/judges liked her too, but Tyra (still butt hurt) said she looked old.
  
• Teyona: daaaamn! She looked like Vivica A. Fox!/the judges didn't care for her poses and movement and she squinted too much.
  
• Allison: came off kinda weird/they said she looked good but sounded bad and Trya said it was like getting "punishment" listening to her. She also got chastised for wearing the same thing twice.
  
• London: she came off badly, really odd/"slouchy", "sloppy" and "hardness" were used to describe her. Then, like a cherry on top, Paulina told her not to wear shorts again - ouch! But she did look pretty bad (and the extreme close-up didn't help).
  
• Natalie: yawn!/the judges didn't care for her either. They thought she was forgettable, too stiff and even got over-shadowed by London. I think someone even said she seemed fake!
  
• Fo: still came off rushed but it was better after editing/"sounded like you were chewing gum"!!
  
• Thalia: she was whatever - not terrible/while they said she has a good Cover Girl face, they didn't like her performance. She was too mean looking and tended to fade into the background. HA!
  

Commercial Break: Heather is still working!! And studying video game art!!

Negative

Allison

Fo

London

Aminat

Natalie

Positive

Celia

Teyona

Thalia

Called First: Celia!!!

Thunderdome Battle! Deathmatch!

Allison vs. Thalia (finally)

Tyra chastised Allison for not being versatile and having "one face." But she does come off as editorial, so that's cool. But I still hate that complaint: you can't change those eyes and they are going to be difficult to work around but that's what you heir her for - her look.

Thalia "has a great look for Cover Girl" but the judges weren't sure if she was comfortable being in front of the camera. DUH!!!! Mr. J as said it, Celia said it, THALIA SAID IT, and last week the judges even questioned it. And it's taken them this long to figure it out...

Going Home: THALIA get the FUCK out of here!

According to Thalia her biggest challenge was "myself." That's a god dammed understatement if I've ever heard one. But she came away from this fucking train wreck thinking that she was a great role model. 

NO, NO YOUR NOT. Scott McIntyre from American Idol is a role model because he has persevered and excelled despite his handicap (which he's had from birth, longer than Thalia). On the other hand we have Thalia who chose to go into a business that bases your value on looks alone, as opposed to any sort of talent. Whenever this became challenging she would whine about it and complain that it was too hard and that she didn't want to be there. When things were going well she flip-flopped like a bi-polar. 

NOT ROLE MODEL MATERIAL.

Next Week: The girls get direct each others shoot and there might be another argument!!

ANTM #6 - Bitches Gone Wild!

Eh, sort of...

Let's be honest: this season has been so/so. Basically, you can't top Jade, so why even try? Seems like the producers have realized this and tried to do their best. The problem is that after awhile, people start watching your show and they figure out how to play the game. You shouldn't be playing anything - that means you might actually be smart. And NOBODY is smart on this show. So it gets old b/c everything seems fake.

There have been genuine moments this season, though. I fully believe that Thalia is truly as annoying as she comes across. And, for sure, Sandra is that completely insane. But other than those two, I think that most of the girls are just faking it 'til they be making it...

When we see the girls again, they are coming back from panel. Poor Thalia, the joy she should be feeling from seeing her photo on the wall (as "digital art" - wtf?) is dashed after being abused by Celia. The girls go to their respective corners and Thalia whines to Aminat and Teyona about how hurt and angry she is. In a strange twist, Sandra decides to join Team Lame (guess that's not completely surprising) and hang out w/ the black girls in the house. I thought her and Celia were starting to get along?

It's super lame that most of these confrontations turn out to be Black vs. White. I understand that most of the girls on this show are somewhat ignorant and fall back on easy prejudices, but it's still kinda lazy. Especially in situations like this. Celia was the only one w/ the skills to put together a cohesive argument against Thalia, while the other chicks just sat there. But the rest of the white chicks get herded onto Team Suck b/c...uh, I dunno.

Aminat ignores the fact that this has nothing to do w/ her and starts instigating. Teyona in tow, Aminat swans down the stairs into the kitchen and gets up in Allison's face, yelling that she "picked a side." Natalie was having none of that and lashed back at Aminat. Why is Natalie getting involved now?!? The most damage that Team Lame's leader and right-hand bitch could do was stand on the staircase (have to make sure that you are above your opponent to look better/bigger/more important than them) and flail their arms while screaming a bunch of nonsense.

I loved that Aminat is so dumb that she couldn't manage another word other than "stupid" to describe Natalie. And while I won't disagree (fake camera!), you have to admit: that's like the pot calling the kettle black. I'm basically over everyone on the show now...Celia should have let nature take it's course and Thalia would have freaked herself out again and fallen so flat the judges would have no other choice but to send her home. On the other hand, I'm so fucking sick of listening to Thalia flip-flop, I want to stab my god damned ears.

The best part about all of this is that while Aminat and Teyona were making fools of themselves and Natalie and Allison were trying to become more sympathetic characters, Celia and Thalia were just standing on the landing watching. They didn't even participate!

MOVING ON!

Aminat reads the Tyra Mail and thinks it means they are going to be acting. Well, not so much. Turns out that Mr. J wants them to work on their facial expressions. His guest model/expert is Beth Stern (Mrs. Howard Stern). When we see her photos, we discover that "expert" is a term that Tyra and the producers take VERY lightly - SHE HAS THE SAME FUCKING FACE IN EVERY PHOTO.

Challenge - WTF?

The first part of this challenge allowed Mr. J to listen to his voice for a little while longer. He had the girls stand in front of mirrors and make faces similar to whatever feeling he called out. The nice thing is that they were all in the same room together, so they could practice their Evil Eye as well...

• Allison - basically always looked sad. But that's her look, no? 
• Celia - did well enough, nothing amazing.
• Thalia - looks like a motherfucking crazy person.
• Fo - was kinda whatever for me.
• Sandra - managed to look like a vampire in every shot. But, thankfully, is still CRAZy.
• Natalie - I still can't get into her...

Thalia is still talking about how she has mad confidence now...barf.

Part 2: The girls stand behind huge photos of Tyra w/ her face cut out. Their challenge is to insert their face and make some expression that mirror the photo and Tyra's body language. Mr. J sort of half-assed mentioned that the girls needed to match their bodies to the photo, mostly meaning that if Tyra is tilting her head - so should they. But he didn't explain himself (as usual) and a lot of the girls ended up looking like retards... 

• Celia - didn't do very well. Her biggest problem was not matching her body position. But she didn't give very good face either. I think she was too psyched out - who's fault is that?!
• Fo - still kinda whatever...
• Sandra - I have no fucking idea what she was trying to do. And you could actually see her holding back; she should have done the vampire face again.
• Aminat - No. Just...no.
• Allison - still looking sad! I had hoped that she might rock the candy shop photo, but alas...
• Natalie - actually didn't do all that bad! But I have (yet another) bone to pick w/ Mr. J: he needs to stop telling Natalie that she's lacking confidence, b/c now she actually believes she is.
• Thalia - DISGUSTING.

Mr. J picks Natalie as the winner (bust I still think she's pretty obnoxious and lame) and she gets 50% more frames during the photo shoot.

Thalia and Celia!

I thought it was genuinely nice that the girls could sit down quietly, away from everyone else and talk. Celia starts things off by asking if Thalia is OK. Turns out she's disappointed and humiliated more than anything else. Which is understandable, but totally her fault. It's like she's never watched this show before. And you know that she was disappointed that Tyra learned she's whiny and embarrassed that the judges found out too. B/c just having all of the viewing audience knowing that is cool or whatever, but not the judges!

Anyway, Celia said that she hadn't meant to hurt her. I'm not sure if I believe this - Thalia is pretty annoying. But if that's the story she wants to stick to...whatever. Thalia made a (gasp!) great point when she said there were better ways that Celia could have gone about all that. I agreed (gasp!) and so did dear friend Dynasty Blackburn. Celia should have done a one-on-one w/ Thalia and asked her point blank what the fuck was up w/ her shit.

And while I also kind of agree w/ Thalia pointing out that her problems were/are none of Celia's business, it makes sense that Thalia shouldn't be there if she doesn't want it bad enough. Oh well, you could run in circles on this shit and never come up w/ a good answer! At the end, Celia really thought she was going home...

Photo Shoot - COLORS!

As abstract an idea this shoot was, it came down to: the girls got some colored powder blown willy-nilly on their faces and they had to emote the color. Most of these girls can't even spell, how are they going to "emote a color"? LOVE IT.

• Allison/Pink/Girly - I had trouble w/ this one. I honestly thought that she was holding back some. This should have been ideal for her.
• Aminat/Green/Earth - as nasty as she is...the girl looked LOVELY.
• Thalia/Lavender/Sexy - I didn't buy any of it, though she was getting marginally better as the shoot went on. Mr. J didn't like any of it and questioned why she always goes for sexy. I question that as well b/c she not sexy at all. And neither is lavender! 
• Teyona/Yellow/Happiness - I don't know...I don't get her, you know?
• Fo/Red/Fierce - and she was! That girl rocked the shit out of her shoot!
• London/Blue - I have no idea what she was trying to do bu I thought it looked pretty good.
• Natalie/Orange - again, no idea what she was trying for but it didn't matter b/c she gave the same fucking face every frame.
• Sandra/White/Angel - AHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHH!!! Angel? Uh...no.
• Celia/Grey - I don't know what she was thinking but it worked. She never stated what she was going for but it looked AWESOME. And I love that the producers insisted the oldest girl get a color that is associated w/ old age...and makes her look like an old hag. But a fierce old hag!

Back at the house Celia picks out her outfit for panel thinking that they are the clothes she will be buried in. Dear, you do know that when you are kicked off the show Tyra doesn't, like, kill you, right? And then Sandra yammers on about how awesome her shoot was. I don't think she was actually there, you know? Like, at shoots, she just drifts off to her special place. I think her special place looks like that scene in "Being John Malkavich" when every one at the restaurant has his head. Just a sea of Sandras...as far as the eye can see!

Panel:

FIRST OF ALL, TYRA NEEDS TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT ON NIGEL! THAT DUDE IS MARRIED OR GAY - EITHER WAY LADY! CHANGE YOUR PANTIES AND SIT YOUR ASS DOWN.

• Aminat - she looked pretty good. But I was a little confused about her looking like a "modern take on green." What does that mean.
• Natalie - again, she's just whatever for me. And Tyra wasn't feeling it either. But, according to Tyra, Natalie's face looks flat and she needs to find a way to get some bones in there. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think she already has bones in her face. If she didn't I'd be throwing up already.
• Thalia - they liked her well enough and someone even said the photo reminded them of Mona Lisa. Maybe. But as has been pointed out many times before, Thalia is much more interesting on film than she is in person. Every time there is panel, she looks and acts like a fucking wet rag. Nigel brings up last weeks "situation"and Thalia admits that she has questioned if she wants to be here. He says that's OK, b/c everyone does that (true) but she can't keep thinking like that. She needs to make a decision, soon. Honestly I don't think she really has.
• Celia - everyone still loves her b/c she understands fashion and looks great. Tyra said that she exuded "maturity and strength" w/ the grey. And the photographer wanted to keep shooting w/ her, always nice to hear!
• Teyona - everyone seemed to love the photo and deemed her a chameleon. Tyra went so far as to say that she looked like "hope" and should have been on an Obama poster. Not sure about that, but she looked pretty good.
• London - I like the photo but everyone thought she was lacking emotion in her eyes. This is probably true since the only emotion she knows is her love for Jesus Christ. Maybe. I don't know, she hasn't really said much about him lately. Do you think they broke up?
• Allison - I actually really liked it! Someone thought it was a very modern looking photo but it was pointed out, again, that Allison isn't showing much range...blah, blah, blah...
• Sandra - AHHHHH! WTF is that shit? No body liked it and Tyra apologized to the photographer saying that she chose a bad photo to show how poorly Sandra did w/ a full face instead of a profile. You know who else had that problem? Heather did. And you know what she did about it? Rocked the shit out of it. 
• Fo - HOT HOT HOT. Everyone loved it, as they should have.

Negative

Natalie

London

Allison

Sandra

Celia -BULLSHIT

Positive

Aminat

Thalia

Teyona

Fo

Fo gets called first which is well deserved.

Thunderdome! Deathmatch!

Sandra vs. Celia

Of course we know that Sandra should be here. She should have been here the first week and then gone home immediately. But she was entertaining, so all is forgiven. But Tyra's argument that her being a "one-look model" is pathetic. In that case, why not have Allison down there too? They didn't care much for Natlaie either. Both of those girls would have been a better replacement for Celia. Granted, Tyra had to make her point but it was lame to call her in the Bottom 2. Everyone loved her photo and complemented her outfit. Tyra says that she's not sure if she can work w/ Celia after she tattled on Thalia. Thankfully, she explained herself: basically, Tyra doesn't like it when people mess w/ her money. When she saw Celia open her mouth, she saw Celia mess w/ Thalia's "money." It reminded her of Naomi Campbell (not in those words, of course, but COME ON!) and that doesn't fly w/ Tyra.

Going home: Sandra (duh!)

Of course Sandra is mad about going home! She STILL thinks she's the best at everything and even has a better personality (!) - BYE! Get the fuck outta here!!!

I guess everything is right again in the world b/c next week's preview didn't say anything about drama in th house...

NEXT WEEK: Acting aaaannnddd CLAY AIKEN!!!!!

ANTM #5 - Slumber Party!

Let me start things off by doing some math/consperiacy theory-stuff:

I always write down who is in the bottom three or so whenever I watch ANTM, just in case there is something interesting there. Turns out there kind of is! 

Nijah was in the "crappy group" twice, before getting eliminated.

So, I looked over my notes and started grouping the girls together by how many times they had been in the Negative - here's what I found:

• Natalie, Allison and Teyona could all go home - they have been steadily doing worse.
  
• Sandra, Thalia and Aminat have been in the Negative two times - but they have all gone from Zero to Hero.
  
• Fo and Kortnie jumped from a steady diet of crap to Positve - we might need to keep an eye on them.
  
• London and Celia have been very consistant - Celia has been in the Top bracket more but London has never crashed and burned.
  

What does this mean? Natalie is going home? Sandra could win? I'm sad to say that I'm not sure. The judges love to flip-flop and contradict themselves and the producers just really like to fuck w/ us. It's up in the air. But I think it's a good guide to keep in mind...

As usual, we come home w/ the girls and check out the "winner's" photo. I'm actually glad that Sandra was called first; it gave her the shot of confidance that she needed to become a raging CRAZY person again. She tells us in a one-on-one that she "looks hot" in the photo. She also thinks that this means she is the best now - b/c having her picture on the wall means that she is the best.

I actually agree w/ that and I think that Allison and Teyona would agree too, since they have also been called first and have had their picture on the wall and, therefor, been the best. Go fuck yourself Sandra.

On the brighter side: the girls still hate Sandra!!!! YEAY!!!

And then Tocara shows up...

SLUMBER PARTY:

Tocara is skinny now? I guess big girls aren't all that awesome after all...But she brings gifts, so that's cool. After changing into their P.J.'s the girls sit around and listed to T2 talk about how personality counts. I think that T2 should have explained that being an asshole or a burn victem is not "personality." The girls seemed to be pretty satisfied w/ the conversation, to the point where Aminat said that she's "loud" but it's OK to be loud. Nope. It's not.

Here's something we didn't know (b/c no one gives a shit): Kortnie is a joker! She the class clown of the group. Huh. Well, even though I don't believe it (b/c I haven't seen it), it does make sense. Speaking from personal experiance: the fatties always make the jokes. It's a defence mechanisim to deflect attention from being fat. The problem is that Kortnie isn't really fat at all; if she had been much bigger at one point in her life and then lost weight, this would make sense. But for now I'm just going to say that she's an Idiot.

Sandra adds her 2cents in by saying she doesn't think this is a comedy show. Sandra must not have much of a sense of humor or, at least, has never watched the show. And it's interesting to note that she has been talking a lot more shit...during one-on-ones. Is she afraid to act like a shithead in front of the other girls?

They aren't afraid to act like that in front of her: some people thought that Fo should have "won." And they said so out-loud. I agree w/ them; Fo or Aminat. But what I am wondering is why they finally decided to "talk back"?

Challenge: Pose w/ Music

BENNY NINJA!!!!!

We are introduced to a former model-turned-DJ called Sky Nellor - she kinda looks like Tori Amos. Then Benny tells the girls they will be paired off to compete against each other; Tori/Sky will play some tunes and the girls will have to pose according to the style of music. Benny stresses that it's important the girls "pay attention to what you listen to." This ought to be fun!

Rock

Sandra had no fucking idea what she was doing. I think Benny even used the phrase "deer in headlights." Even if you have never heard rock music, you can get some idea of what's going on by...LISTENING TO THE MUSIC.

London on the other hand did very well. Question: is she still into Jesus or do you think she's moved on?

Techno

Allison was also pretty lost...

Natalie as usual kinda just stood there and looked like Whatever.

Country

Both Fo and Teyona were pretty lame. But I can't blame them since country music sucks.

WTF?

I have no idea what kind of music they had to pose to.

Celia, however, did a great job.

Kortnie, on the other hand, just fucked around for a few seconds and was scolded by Benny for not taking this seriously.

Jazz

Aminat did a great job posing. Her outfit was slammin' and she understood the music.

Thalia, of course, looked like a fucking hippo trying to do ballet.

I think we should add Allison to the list of Annoying People. 

Challenge: Pose-Off!

Benny's explanation was so conveluted and insane that I had no idea what the girls were going to have to do. Which got me all excited b/c I figured they wouldn't know either and freak out. But it turns out that this was the easiest thing on the face of the earth. The girls are split into two groups; the first group goes out on stage one at a time and poses to the music; when they are done, the second group goes out and does the same thing. While each individual girl is on stage, Benny will call out "POSE!" and the girl has to pose. They will be juged by the audiance, which seemed to consist primarily of flaming drag queens not is costume. I wish I could have been there.

*Benny conveniently came up w/ the grading system of being either Good or Sour. Thanks!

Group 1

Allison - I thought she was OK/Sour

Teyona - I thought she was Good/Good

Kortnie - I have no fucking idea what she was doing up there/SOUR

Sandra - I thought she was total Crap/Sour (and she looked like a drag queen)

Celia - AWESOME/GOOD

Group 2

Aminat - I thought she did OK/Sour

London - I thought she did Ok/Sour

Thalia - I though she did OK/SOUR (the audiance HATED her and I though she was gonna cry!)

Natalie - I thought she was Whatever/Good (I really do hate this girl)

Fo - I though she did OK/Good

It came down to Natalie (WTF?) and Celia. Though not the quintesential Death Match, it was pretty awesome to see Celia out pose Natalie to death. The audiance agreed and Celia FINALLY WON SOMETHING.

Back at the house and guess what: Thalia wants to go home again! Big surprise...this time she tells Allison, who turns around and tells Celia. It's the same story w/ Thalia: she gets a little crticizim and she starts crying and wishes she could go home, then she does a good job at her photo shoot and she's all about kicking ass and taking names. It's getting boring and, like Celia said, there are girls here that want this more than her and are not thrown by a few bitchy comments. Celia is practical about it and voices her opinion to the other girls that Thalia should leave the competition and let the girls who want this more, have a better chance.

That right there was a mistake: talking to the OTHER girls. Celia should have had everyone sit down for a meeting and told Thalia to her face. This way, Thalia can at least a.) explain herself b.) break down and cry and get even more freaked out about the competition and get eliminated b/c of it or c.) actually make the decision to leave.  That would have been a lot cleaner.

Photo Shoot: Ellis Island

Today's theme is Immigrants Coming Through Ellis Island. Kinda cool. They will be shot w/ and old fashioned still camera and be paired w/ Benny Ninja as their "husband" and a bunch of randon kids.

• Sandra - was very stiff/boring and turned out to be the biggest dissapointment of the day.
  
• Fo - I thought looked lovely.
  
• London - totally got into character, thinking she was Kate Winslet from "Titanic."
  
• Natalie - had some good poses but, again, her face seemed to fall flat for me.
  
• Teyona - was just OK, for me but Mr. J seemed to like her.
  
• Kortnie - dead eyes! And she seemed to struggle w/ everything around her.
  
• Thalia - looked like a gypsy! She also did very well and Mr. J noted that she seems to be growing in the competition.
  
• Celia - I thought she did very well and kept it strong but Mr. J just gave her a "good."
  
• Aminat - seemed to bring it to set but Mr. J pointed out that she works her body really well and then forgets her face - which is true.
  
• Allison - seemed to to well and got a soild review from Mr. J.
  

Sandra says she is nervous about Pannel w/c she knows she didn't have a good shoot. But then goes on to say that she won't be going home. Make up your fucking mind.

Guess what? Thalia wants to stay in the competition now. FUCK. She is annoying. And this would have been the perfect time to call her on it; she's still high from a great shoot, so she will be coherant but the massive amounts of negativity would shake her up pretty badly. Oh well...

Pannel

Sandra REEEEAAAALLLLY loves those fucking red shoes. And Benny is the guest judge.

• Teyona - the photo turned out very nicely and the judges complimented her on how authentic she looked. 
  
• London - this photo was only OK. The big problem is that she was looking away from the camera while all the extras were staring straight ahead; also, her pose was odd.
  
• Sandra - just as she suspected (and we all knew) this photo was not good. She was stiff and looked away from the camera. Nigel noted that she's been giving them profiles lately and this is true.
  
• Allison - the photo was pretty good and someone even through out the word "editorial."
  
• Aminat - she finally found a synergy of good face and good pose and was complimented for it.
  
• Fo - this photo was only OK and she was also looking away from the camera.
  
• Natalie - I was pretty Whatever about this photo and it seemed the judges felt the same.
  
• Kortnie - BARF. She had the ultimate zombie face - and I HATE zombies.
  
• Thalia - it was a good photo and the judges LOVED it. But I think that Thalia has become an Asshole in all this - her reaction to the judges praise was ZERO and when they told her to bring more personality to the pannel, she just stood there.
  
• Celia - unfortunatly, this was not a good photo. The pose was so/so and she seemed to be dialing it in. Sorry, Celia!
  

Negative

Sandra - they said the "P Word"...Pretty

Kortnie

Fo

Celia

Natalie

Positive

London

Allison

Aminat

Thalia

Teyona

Deathmatch! Thunderdome Battle!

Kortnie vs. Sandra

At this point it's nice to see that the judges have split the Negative/Positive groups down the middle. It sucks when one group is lop-sided. Here is where I get to put my theory to practice; Sandra just got the Kiss of Death w/ the word Pretty. But Kortnie made a crazy jump from the Negtive to the Positive in one leap, w/out having proven that she could actually model. This is a good Bottom 2.

Going Home: Kortnie (after all, she doesn't bring anything to the show)

HOLY SHIT

Celia decides that it's her job to voice the opinion of the group and tell Tyra that Thalia is a whiny bitch. In a way that's kinda awesome - she's ballsy enough to talk shit about a girl right in front of Tyra right after said girl was called first at pannel. But it was a stupid decision. As much as I like Celia, I have to agree w/ Tyra that it was unfair of Celia to bring it up. Now Tyra's logic is that since Thalia didn't say it, it's unfair - but that's stupid b/c Thalia isn't about to ruin her chance at winning (when she wants to win). Poor Celia has to skulk off the stage and stand there like a jackass while Kortnie got a pep-talk from Tyra.

NEXT WEEK: FIGHTING!

Celia thinks she will be sent home for her actions

Thalia claims she's been humliated by all this

Aminat and Natalie argue

Everyone starts yelling at each other